13. Don’t Expect to Get a Seat by the Pool
These coveted deck chairs are often snapped up by early-birds who stake out their territory before you’ve even thought about having your morning cup of joe. You’re not allowed to save a chair with a towel for later use, but it’s kind of awkward to move a stranger’s belongings to claim an otherwise vacant seat. Then again, maybe you shouldn’t strive to be poolside anyway. Cruise ship pools and hot tubs are like a vat of “people soup”, small and crowded sloshing waterholes with wall-to-wall bodies of splashing kids and hungover adults. You might prefer to seek out a quiet deck far away from the fray, or opt for one of those adults-only sanctuaries that are popping on many cruise lines.
14. Sickness Can Spread Like Wildfire on a Ship
Cruise-enthusiasts are always quick to whitewash the issue of on board epidemics, but there’s a reason why cruise ships are called “floating Petri dishes”. It’s not that communicable illnesses don’t plague other places. Hospitals, schools and the like have outbreaks of norovirus and gastro too. But when you’re trapped on a ship in the middle of the rocking ocean, there’s nowhere to go. You don’t have any control over the hygiene practices of your fellow passengers, crew and kitchen staff. You don’t know if the last person to touch that stair railing, door knob, elevator button, faucet or fork washed their hands or not. If a few people contract a bug, it can quickly lead to a boatload of trouble. For example, the Royal Caribbean Explorer of the Seas reported over 700 cases of sick people on an ill-fated cruise back in 2014, and the infirmary couldn’t contain it. Passengers were vomiting into bucket and bags, toilets couldn’t handle the diarrhea output, shows were canceled due to ill performers, and hardly anyone was eating all that food. Granted, this was an extreme case, but nightmares like this aren’t that unheard of (already nine outbreaks have been reported on various cruise lines in 2015, and the year is not even half over). Silver lining, this was one cruise where many passengers didn’t gain weight!
15. People Do Go Overboard
Don’t worry, falling off a cruise ship is a rare occurrence, but it does happen. It’s often the result of an alcoholic mishap, a suicidal impulse or some some balcony climbing shenanigan gone wrong. Not all are fatal. One rescue happened after 18 hours in the water, but, not surprisingly, most of these situations do not have happy endings. There have been almost 90 known incidents since 2000 (Carnival alone has had 33!), statistically more common with men, averaging 41 years old, from California and Florida and on the last night of the cruise. For obvious reasons, this is one of the things cruise lines never tell you in their marketing material.
