7. Elevator Decorum
This is one law that should be strictly enforced across the country, nay, the world. In New York, the appropriate behavior while riding in an elevator is to keep it zipped while facing the door with your hands folded. Don’t laugh, don’t chat on the phone, don’t try to look at the people riding with you. Just find your floor and don’t engage with me … er, each other.
8. It’s Grade School Trauma
This one has to be the result of some elementary school razzing, right? A future law maker got mocked and then turned to his abuser and vowed, “Oh yeah? I’m gonna make it illegal for citizens to greet one another by putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers, you meanie!” And he (or she) made good on that. It’s really inspiring, actually.
9. The Suicide Rule
In the state of New York, jumping off a building more than 50 feet tall is illegal. Another way to say that is: if you attempt suicide by jumping off a building and you fail, the government will be more than happy to get the job done for you. The person you have to feel bad for is the guy who leaps out of a burning building and miraculously survives, only to get immediately arrested and charged with a capital offense.
