It’s tough out there for an ex-convict who’s been released from jail. It’s hard to get a job, because potential employers don’t trust you. You can’t vote (at least, not if you’re convicted of a felony). Essentially your past mistakes will continue to follow you around in spite of the fact you’ve paid for your crimes. What’s more frustrating, there really aren’t a lot of outlets for ex-cons to constructively vent their rage. So, in the age of the internet, several of the more creative ex-cons have taken to the internet’s variety of review services and let their opinions be known. So here, for your consideration, are some of the weirdest hotel-like prison reviews from ex-cons on Yelp and Google.
1. Wormwood Scrubs is a “great place to get away from the wife and kids.”
Located in west London, Wormwood Scrubs has a reputation reaching back into the storied city’s past. Of course, you wouldn’t know it with reviews from ex-patrons like Michael Pollard, who happily proclaimed the prison a “great place to get away from the wife and kids.” Yet another review from ex-con Steve Hall said that while the food left something to be desired, the location still had “plenty of bars.”
2. Pelican Bay State Prison “is better than time in Hawaii”.
Located in Crescent City, California, Pelican Bay is a world renowned jail. And — according to the reviews — that’s for very good reason. One review claims that time in the prison is better than time in Hawaii, while another praised the “Excellent food and concierge service (sic).” Unfortunately, not all the reviews are glowing; one former inmate who was recommended to the institution by a California judge claimed, “Bellhops are rude, no ice machine, and the staff don’t seem to know the first thing about customer service.”
3. The location offers city and river views and there is plenty of wildlife on hand.
Riker’s Island, New York’s most famous detention facility may not seem like the perfect vacation spot, but a review from mo I. paints a charming picture. The location offers city and river views and there is plenty of wildlife on hand. As mo puts it, “if you like studying creatures such as bed bugs, lice, and mutant water bugs this is the place.” On Thursdays, Riker’s provides a delicious assortment of rare and medium cooked chicken to prisoners, so you know the cuisine is experimental.
