Few states in the Union are as diverse and rich in natural beauty as Georgia. The Jewel of the South, it is home to a wide variety of citizens, from the people creating the rich culture coming out of Atlanta to the polite landed gentry in Savannah. The Peach State is filled with exciting things to do and wonderful ways to fill your time, no matter your interests. However, as great as Georgia may be, there’s still some laws on the books you might want to keep an eye on when you’re traveling through one of the oldest states in our great nation.
1. Keep the Toys Out
Georgia has officially legislated that consenting adult couples cannot under any circumstances bring a sex toy into the bedroom (or the state for that matter). I guess the state just wants to insure that only Jesus-approved parts come into play when two people are getting intimate.
2. No Cussing Allowed
Okay, this one is kind of taking “don’t speak ill of the dead” to a ridiculous degree, because Georgia even outlaws speaking ill in front of the dead. That’s right, it’s illegal to drop a four-letter word in front of a corpse that’s on display in a funeral home or coronor’s office. I guess that gives people leeway to scream profanity if and when they’re unfortunate enough to stumble on a dead body.
3. The Rake Rule
In one Georgia town, they take their lawn care very seriously, at least in one respect. The town must be so drowned in leaves once a year that every person in the town must legally own a rake. No telling on whether or not said rake has to meet certain criteria, but you can bet the town is prepared when leaves start dropping off trees. Take that Fall!
4. The Goldfish Allure
You can use cash and prizes, but you may not use goldfish as a giveaway in order to entice someone to play a game of bingo. But how big a loss is that, really? Giving someone a goldfish is like giving them an obligation to buy a small tank, food, a fake plant, and then a string of other goldfish after the first one dies in two days.
5. Fair Decorum
In Georgia, the fairs are one-of-a-kind in both spectacle and enjoyment. And the people who run the state make sure they’re a good time for all. As a result, one county in Georgia makes it totally illegal to make a disturbing sound at a fair … that’s pretty broadly defined, so it’s best to restrict yourself to polite conversation in a “fair” setting.
6. Diversity: Take it Elsewhere
Okay, in fairness, Georgia is actually a pretty racially diverse state. In terms of linguistic diversity, though, English has the whole state on lockdown. There’s an actual legislative mandate that all signs are required to be written in English. The United States may not have an official language, but Georgia sure does.
7. The Counter-Intuitive License
In one Georgian county, they make sure to go ahead and pour some extra salt on the open wound of losing your business. When you’re planning to get rid of your extra stock, you’re actually required to buy a license for a Going-Out-Of-Busines sale. Why not kick sand in your face while they’re at it?
8. No House Boats Allowed
For a state that’s bordered by an ocean, Georgia isn’t very boater friendly; at least not when it comes to those people who want to live on their boat. In Georgia, it’s illegal for anyone to occupy a boat for more than thirty days over the course of a calendar year. Even people who don’t live in Georgia are subject to this silly rule when they’re simply boating through the state.
9. But What About My Roadie?
You better finish your booze while you’re in the bar (or keep it in your house), because in one Georgia city, it’s absolutely illegal for someone to get drunk on any form of public transportation. Come on, it’s not like you don’t have a designated driver while sitting on the bus.
10. Let Our Giraffes Run Free
There’s no telling how many giraffes are prowling the streets of one major city in Georgia, but it must be a lot and they must like it that way, because there are laws on the books prohibiting citizens from tying giraffes to a telephone pole or street lamp. Those must be insanely big leashes. Can’t imagine the circumstances that brought that piece of legislation to the forefront.
11. The Criminal Gateway
Because we can’t have our youths being exposed to the moral dangers of modern society, it’s illegal for people under the age of 16 to engage in the ungodly act of pinball after 11 p.m. That’ll keep kids from having their sock hops and listening to that rock and roll music!
12. The Business of Raffles
Apparently raffles in Georgia are pretty big business, because the law is pretty serious about the money-making potential. In Georgia, if a business that’s registered as a “non-profit” doesn’t let the sheriff know they’re going to have a raffle, that organization is looking at $10,000 in fines and up to five years in jail.
13. Keep Donkeys in Their Places
There’s actually a specific law on the books that bans donkeys from being kept in bathtubs for any length of time. Barring the obvious question — how else is my donkey supposed to get clean? — one has to wonder exactly why some state politician decided this rule needed to get put on the books?
14. Alcohol: For Bars Only
The state of Georgia is very specific about where alcohol is not allowed. For example, adult bookstores cannot sell booze, which — honestly — seems like a good idea. However, in a stroke of legislative BS-ery, massage parlors aren’t allowed to sell alcohol, which seems ridiculous. What could possibly be more relaxing than a stiff drink and a rub down?
15. “Protecting” It’s Citizens
Georgia has strictly forbidden the operation of a private lottery within state borders, because they believe that such an organization isn’t in the best interests of its citizens. What is in the best interest of its citizens is the very public state lottery that’s operated by Georgia authorities. That bad boy is so good for the people that it makes more than a billion dollars every year for the state. In fairness, lots of that money goes to education.
